Of All the Gin Stores In All the World, He Walks Into This One

While the Bozo Criminal Report certainly does not recommend this response to your typical Bozo Thief, we certainly stand in awe of his efforts. From Marionville, Missouri comes the story of an unidentified bozo who walked into a liquor store smoking a cigarette. The man behind the counter told our bozo that smoking was not allowed inside. Our bozo responded by walking up to the clerk, looking him straight in the eyes and saying, “Give me all your >bleeping< money." Bad idea. The guy behind the counter was a military veteran with four tours in Iraq and a previous job as a corrections officer. Surveillance video shows our bozo raising his pistol only to have his hand slapped down by the clerk, who then pulled a pistol of his own which he stuck into the mouth of our would-be thief. The clerk then said, "You need to get the >bleep< out of here before I blow your >bleeping< head off." Thinking better of his robbery plan, our bozo backed away and ran out the door. Armed with the video, police expect to make an arrest soon.