Just Take It Easy When You Go Over A Bump

Bozo criminal for today comes from Okanogan, Washington, where state troopers couldn’t believe what they saw. From the front, it looked just like an ordinary U-Haul truck. From behind, well let’s just say the guy took an unusual approach to hauling his car. Our bozo had crammed a SUV into the back of the truck. Well, almost. The rear wheels were hanging out and the whole thing was secured by one packing strap. After checking things out it was determined that our bozo didn’t have a valid drivers license and the truck was overdue for return. Busted! And charged with failure to secure a load.

But Wait! He Left Without Weed Eating?

We’re sure our bozo had a motive for this crime but we’re left scratching our heads on this one from Port Arthur, Texas. Home surveillance video caught our bozo taking a lawnmower from the garage. He then went back to retrieve a large gas can, which he used to fuel the mower. He then fled, right? Nope. What do you do with a fully fueled lawnmower? You mow the yard, of course! The video even shows him stopping to move a broken picket fence post so he could take care of that spot. And did we mention he did the back yard, too? The homeowner must not have been satisfied with his work as he called the cops to report what was going on. Our bozo fled, initially taking the mower with him before ditching it in an nearby alley. Cops are asking for help in finding our rogue lawn care specialist.

And Besides, That One Expired a LONG Time Ago

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Bexley, England. The cops spotted our 21-year-old bozo driving recklessly. After he refused their orders to pull over, a 35 mile chase ensued, with a police helicopter called in to aid in the pursuit. The chase only ended when his car ran out of gas. Cops found a large stash of marijuana in the car. He sealed his fate when they asked for his drivers license. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a “Legoland Drivers License”, given to him as a toddler 19 years ago. Sorry, that’s not an official license. Busted! Charged with suspicion of dangerous driving, failing to stop, possession of a class B drug, driving with no insurance and driving with no license,

Next Time At Least Get a Moped

Bozo criminal for today comes from Brighton, Michigan, where our unidentified Bozo pedaled his bike down to the local convenience store. He strolled in, pulled a knife, and demanded cash from the clerk. He was given an unknown amount and made his getaway. Well, not exactly. While he was nowhere to be seen when the cops arrived, a K-9 officer picked up the scent and tracked our bozo to a nearby parking lot where he surrendered and admitted the crime.

I Was Just Trying To Find a Place That Serves Lobster Rolls

As we have all learned by now, Bozos and modern technology just don’t mix. And we have another example today from Portland, Maine. The cops didn’t have to go far to investigate this one as our bozo drove her car through the police department’s garage and through the pedestrian plaza before setting stuck when she tried to drive down a flight of stairs. And her bozo excuse? She was just following her GPS’ instructions. Yeah, and your over the limit blood alcohol level also probably had something to do with it. She’s busted! Charged with DUI.