Bozo criminal for today comes from St. Louis, Missouri, where the cops were called to a report of gunfire. On their way to the scene, a man stepped in front of the marked patrol car, walked to the passenger side, and pointed a gun at the officers. At some point he noticed the vehicle he was trying to carjack was a cop car and he fled on foot. He was quickly apprehended. Charged with first-degree robbery, armed criminal action and resisting arrest.
Bozo criminal for today comes from Longmeadow, Massachusetts. Sheriff’s deputies were attempting to serve an eviction notice at a residence when our bozo pulled up. Towing a trailer. Full of bee hives. Bozo Rorie Williams then calmly put on a beekeepers suit, started shaking the hives, breaking the cover off one and sending a swarm of bees in the direction of the deputies. Several deputies were stung before the bees were brought under control and our beekeeping bozo was placed under arrest. She has pleaded not guilty and is awaiting trial on charges of assault with, um, deadly insects.
Bozo criminal for today comes from Jersey City, New Jersey, where bozo Zulema Jefferson walked into local sheriff’s office and handed her job application to a security guard. Nothing wrong with that, right? Right, unless you happen to be wanted on a fraud charge in Pennsylvania. After the cops discovered who she was, they called her back in, ostensibly for an interview. She was quickly placed under arrest and, after she was found to be in possession of two stolen credit cards, she was charged with theft in addition to the ten bench warrants for failure to appear in court.
Bozo criminal for today comes from Seminole, Florida where bozo Paul Simpson walked into a Chase bank with his hand under his shirt. He then made the shape of a gun with his finger and demanded cash from the teller, advising her to “not push any buttons.” She went along with the charade and gave him $120. The cops were called and he was captured on foot not far from the bank. He was taken into custody, along with his “weapon”.
Bozo criminal for today comes from Houston, Texas. Our unidentified bozo walked into a fast food restaurant and asked the person behind the counter for change for a $100 bill. When the employee called over his manager, our bozo pulled a gun and demanded cash. Then, for reasons known only to the Bozo Mind, he told the manager that it was his first time attempting a robbery. Seeing an opportunity, the manager simply refused to open the register. Our bozo then proceeded to try to negotiate an amount that the would be reasonable to both parties. No deal. He then left the establishment, probably to go home and practice in front of a mirror before trying again.