Bozo criminal for today comes from Ventura County, California, where the cops received a report of a drone buzzing around the neighborhood. Cops spotted the colorful red, green and silver drone and noticed something strange about it. There was a baggie containing a powdery substance attached to it. Oops. Our bozo was taken into custody, charged with suspicion of two counts of possessing a controlled substance for sale and one count of controlled substance possession.
Bozo criminal for today comes from Nashville, Tennessee, where the cops responded to a report of a car sitting in the middle of the intersection with the driver inside. Perhaps the man had suffered a medical emergency? Nope. Maybe the car had simply died? Nah. How about he was passed out, dead drunk? Yep. When the cops woke up sleeping beauty and asked him if he knew where he was, he replied, “In my bed.” Not exactly. Busted! Charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license.
Bozo criminal for today comes from Joliet, Illinois, where bozo Jefferson Lane spotted a car that was left running and unoccupied at a convenience store. He hopped in and drove away but quickly realized he wasn’t familiar with the area. When he came upon an officer working an accident, he stopped and asked the cop for directions. Guess the dimwit didn’t realize the car had already been reported as stolen. He was placed under arrest without incident.
This is the first time we’ve heard from our bozo friends in the Taliban in a while, and it’s good to see not much has changed. From the International File in Qultaq, Afghanistan comes a report that Talaban leaders had called a meeting to conduct a bomb making class. They had even brought in six “experts” to help show the guys just how to do it. Bad idea. One of the devices they were building malfunctioned and blew up the mosque, along with at least 30 would-be terrorists and the six “experts.”
Bozo criminal for today comes from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, where bozo Sharon Brown broke into a residence by prying off a window screen and climbing in. She rummaged around but left without taking anything. But she did leave something behind…an empty bag of Cheetos on the kitchen floor. When the cops responded to a report of a suspicious person nearby, they found Cheeto residue on her teeth. Uh-oh. After being confronted with the evidence, she confessed to the break-in.
Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Josh Widdowson for sending in this violation of Bozo Rule Number 8948492: Always clear your search history. It seems bozo David Carroll of West Newton, Pennsylvania, had what he thought was a foolproof scam. He called the cops and reported his vehicle as stolen. Five days later, the cops found his SUV in a wooded area, torched and nearly unrecognizable, but they were able to trace the still intact VIN number back to our bozo. End of story, right? Nope. As part of the investigation, a search warrant was issued for his phone. And right at the top of his Google search history…”How to set your car on fire and make it look like an accident.” Oops. Busted! Charged with arson with intent to collect auto insurance, insurance fraud, filing a false report and risking a catastrophe.