Guess Ronco Doesn’t Make That Spray On Hair Anymore?

Bozo criminal for today comes from Lawrenceburg, Kentucky, where bozo Jeffrey Taylor walked into a hair salon and asked an employee if she had a product that could “bring his hair back.” When she told him there was no magic potion, our bozo, described as “6’3″, 250 pounds and bald”, became belligerent and generally caused a disturbance at the shop. He was arrested and charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct. However, outstanding warrants let to him being charged with arson, criminal mischief and violating a protective order. Perhaps the jailhouse barber will be able to help him with his hairy problem.

This Is One Energizer Bunny That Didn’t Keep Going

Bozo criminal for today comes from North Bend, Washington, where the cops noticed a car on I-90 with what was described as “extremely dim headlights”. Our bozo was pulled over and the officer noticed the car had significant front end damage. Enough damage that the standard equipment headlights were missing and had been replaced by a couple of flashlights that our bozo had duct taped to the frame. Bad idea. This is not legal. Also not legal is driving with a suspended license. He’s busted!

The Tank Isn’t the Only Thing Empty Here

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Blair County, Pennsylvania. Let’s follow along in this Bozo Timeline. One: Steal a gray Audi SUV. Check. Two: Take off on Route 22 but fail to check the vehicle’s gas gauge. Uh, check. Three: Coast to a stop on the side of the road and call, not AAA, not a tow truck, but instead the state police to ask for help. Check. Four: Go to jail after the cop arrives and determines the vehicle is stolen. Check and busted!