Advise to the Lovelorn: Take the Bus

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Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Troy House for sending in today’s report from the International File in Crieff, Scotland. Our bozo attempted to steal a milk delivery van, pulling a knife on the driver and jumping behind the wheel. His plan was foiled when he couldn’t figure out how to start the truck. Undeterred, he turned his attention to another nearby vehicle, which he commandeered but was only able to drive a few feet before stalling it. The cops were called and they arrived just in time to find him attempting to hijack another motorist. After a short chase on foot our bozo was apprehended at which time he offered up the Bozo Excuse of the Week. He told the cops he had broken up with his girlfriend and “needed to get out of town.” In a way, he got his wish. He’s been placed in an out of town jail.