April 26, 2004

  • 1 min read

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Eddie Forgey for sending in today’s report. From Olympia, Washington comes the story of bozo Charles Clark who had what he thought was the perfect plan. He would rob a bank and then drive to Puget Sound, where he would don scuba gear and swim away with his loot to a safe hideout. The bank robbing part worked out ok, except that the wet suit he was wearing underneath his overcoat was bulky and slowed his exit somewhat. It slowed him enough that witnesses were able to call the cops and identify the type car he had driven away in. The cops caught up with him just as he jumped out of his car and started to make his way toward the water. He wasn’t exactly breaking any speed records, though, as he was carrying a weight belt, flippers, an air tank and regulator and his bag of cash. And of course it was really hot in that wet suit. Needless to say, he was captured before he ever got a chance to try out his gear.