Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Emily Sowter for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Sydney, Australia comes the story of bozo Robert Carson who managed to escape from jail by losing a lot of weight and slipping through the bars of his cell. He must have lost some brain cells in addition to those fat cells while on his diet, as, shortly after his escape, he was captured while on a shopping trip with his girlfriend. It was his attempt at a disguise that did him in. He’s naturally blonde and he used a black marker to draw on a fake mustache. Needless to say, this getup attracted a lot of attention, and someone soon recognized him and called the cops. He’s back in jail, hopefully one with bars that are closer together.