He Was Probably “Oiled” Up In More Ways Than One

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Burbank, California, where bozo Jorge Garcia had an oil change business. But, oil ain’t cheap, and with no price reductions on the horizon, he took matters into his own hands. He walked into the local Costco, armed with a bunch of bungee cords, and proceeded to use them to strap quarts of oil to his body. 24 quarts in all. As you might expect, it was a little tough for him to walk and he did attract a little attention to himself as he headed for the exit. Store employees gave chase and nine quarts of oil fell off as he was running. The police joined in and captured him a few blocks away. As he was lying on the ground, our bozo kept complaining that he couldn’t breathe due to the weight of the remaining quarts of oil pressing down on his body. The oil was unstrapped and he was placed under arrest.