I Never Saw a Purple Dog, and I Never Hope To See One

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts. Bozo Felix Walker had a rather unsuccessful Bozo adventure. First, cops responded to a neighborhood call of a vehicle theft around 2:30 pm. Witnesses said he didn’t get very far in the car before crashing it and running away. Now, any normal thief might think today wasn’t his day and lay low for a while. But not our bozo. Instead, he broke into a nearby home, rummaged around, stole a few items and then, before leaving, spray painted the family dog purple. And that was his big mistake. When the officers located our bozo for questioning the purple paint on his pants was a dead giveaway. He’s been charged with intent to commit a felony, larceny of a motor vehicle and cruelty to animals. And, by the way, the dog is recovering nicely.