He Was Probably Heading To the Premiere of the Movie “It”

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Nashua, New Hampshire, where the cops received a report of a man driving down a freeway without his headlights on. The officers attempted to pull our bozo over, but he instead sped up and led the cops on a high speed chase. It was at this time that the police noticed something unusual about the vehicle. It was full of balloons. Absolutely jam-packed with balloons, with barely enough room for the driver. And did we point out that this occurred at 3:30 am? Anyway, the chase continued until our bozo reached his residence, where he pulled into the driveway and immediately crashed into the garage. He was placed under arrest. The balloons are being held in protective custody.