His Next Stop Was To Pick Up a Coffee Table

Bozo criminal for today from Happy Valley, Oregon, violated Bozo Rule Number 22-223321: It’s best to keep your getaway vehicle as inconspicuous as possible. Cops received a call of an armed robbery at the local Ace Hardware store. The suspect had pulled a gun on a store employee and then had fled in a Mazda. Oh, and one more thing, that Mazda had a sofa strapped to the roof. And did we mention it was also raining at the time? Since there aren’t many couch carrying Mazdas on the road during a thunderstorm, the cops caught up with our bozo rather quickly. After a brief chase, he was apprehended and placed under arrest. And that couch? It escaped without a scratch.