We’ve Heard of the Devil Made Me Do It, But This Is a First for God

Bozo criminal for today comes from Mobile, Alabama, where bozo Jeffrey Mason was accused of stealing a fire-rescue vehicle from in front of the fire station. Our bozo, who apparently never met a TV camera he didn’t like, had been charged with the theft and was being escorted out of the police station when he noticed the TV crew. He introduced himself to the cameras and announced that he was “running for Mayor of Mobile, Alabama, baby!” When a female reporter asked him if he stole the vehicle, he said he wouldn’t have stolen it if he “had a woman like you.” But he wasn’t done. He then listed God as an accomplice, saying the God had told him to steal the car. The TV crew turned their attention to another perp, asking him if he had stolen a vehicle. Our bozo immediately jumped in and said, “No! I did it, man! He didn’t do sh–! I did everything!” And on a parting note, he promised to steal a police car when he was released from custody. Could be awhile. He’s being held on charges of first degree theft and first degree burglary.