12 2, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 5347: It’s not usually a good idea to take along your kids when you’re planning on committing a crime. From Monclair, New Jersey comes the story of Bozo John Clifford and his 5 year old son Mike. Police officers responding to a call of a suspicious man in a parking garage found our bozo and his son. The bozo told officers he was just passing through the garage and hadn’t seen anything unusual. His 5 year old son then said, "My daddy was trying to break a window on a car." The boy then led officers to the car, showing them the scratches the bozo had made while trying to break in. When his daddy denied doing anything wrong, the little boy said, "Yes you did, daddy. Don’t lie to the police." The bozo was taken into custody on attempted robbery charges.

12 1, 1998

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk John Cooper who passed along today’s bozo report via the internet. Bozo Scott Nelson had been served a few too many drinks at the local bar and as he was weaving his way home he saw the dreaded red and blue police lights in his rear view mirror. The bozo quickly ditched his car and made a run for it. Police officers caught up with him a few blocks away, but our bozo said he was just out for a stroll and had not been driving that evening. So, the officers took him for a little ride back to the spot where he had ditched his car. One of the officers then asked the bozo why his car was parked there. The not so quick thinking bozo replied, "Oh, I just parked it there because I thought someone was chasing me."