Bozo criminals for today come from the International File in Bogota, Columbia. Our bozos were drug smugglers and they knew the Columbian Navy was hot on their trail. So they cooked up a plan-they would burn the $75 million in cocaine on board their boat, destroying the evidence before the Navy could reach them. Somewhere along the way, however, things got crossed up. When the authorities arrived, they found the speedboat aflame and our bozos in the water, surrounded by bags of unburned cocaine. "Uh, did you say to light the boat or the dope?" The Navy rescued the five bozos and then placed them under arrest.