Next Time Try Vaseline

Bozo criminal for today comes from Bradford, Pennsylvania, where police were called to a residence with a report of a shooting. When they arrived, they found bozo Alffed Marshall bleeding from a severe wound to his left hand. It was when they asked him what happened, that he came up with the Bozo Excuse of the Week. He told them he wanted to get rid of his wedding ring and decided to shoot it off. He didn’t succeed. While the finger was nearly severed, the ring was still attached. He’s been charged with disorderly conduct and reckless endangerment.