Shoulda Bought a Die Hard

Bozo criminal for today comes from Port St. Lucie, Florida, where bozo Gordon Slater was drinking with his girlfriend at the local bar. When closing time came at 2 a.m., he noticed she had left without him, so, he did what any bozo would do, he found a truck with the keys in it and used it to drive himself home. Apparently, he liked the truck so much he decided to keep it, and that’s what got him into trouble. About a week later, the battery on the truck gave out and our bozo needed a jump. So, what did he do? He approached a deputy sheriff and asked for help. Instead of help, he was given a free ride to jail, charged with grand theft auto.