Whatever You Do, Don’t Put Those Cheetos Back On the Shelf!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Troy House for sending in today’s report. Bozo Melissa Porter walked into a convenience store and grabbed a bag of Cheetos, which she stashed “under her sundress in her groin area”. She then picked up a six-pack of Bud Light and headed for the door. An employee confronted her and got the beer back but the Cheetos were not given up. Our bozo then headed across the street and into a wooded area with the store employee in hot pursuit. A scuffle ensued, with the the clerk being punched in the eye. The cops were called and our bozo was tracked down, “with the Cheetos on her person.” She’s been charged with theft and battery.