But, I Thought 911 Was Supposed to Offer Help!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Howard Rost for sending in today’s report from Tonawanda, New York. Apparently bozo Zelda Brown had had enough of her elderly boyfriend. So, she did what any bozo would do. She called 911 and asked the operator what was the best way to kill someone. Not surprisingly, cops were immediately dispatched to her home, where they found her poor boyfriend bloodied after being hit repeatedly with a VCR tape. And our bozo was now swinging around a leaf blower battery, threatening the 76-year-old man with it. She was quickly subdued and charged with endangering the welfare of an elderly person and possession of a weapon.