I Don’t Want To Do It, YOU Do It!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Mike Sheffield for sending in today’s report from the International File in Nanning, China. A Chinese businessman sought the services of a hitman, offering him $411, 883 to knock off a competitor. The hitman accepted the offer and then subcontracted out the job to another hitman, offering to pay him about half the original commission. Hitman number two accepted the job but then farmed the murder out to hitman number three, who accepted and passed it on to hitman number four who then hired hitman number five. By the time number five accepted the job, the commission was down to only $20,600. Not surprisingly, for such a low price, the fifth hitman got cold feet and contacted the would be target and asked him if he would mind faking his own death. Bad idea. The cops were contacted, and, after a long trial, all our bozos were convicted of attempted murder.