Yearly Archives: 2009

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Monterrey, Mexico. Bozo Ana Gomez was well known around town for begging from her wheelchair. Residents were shocked to hear that she and her husband had tried to rob the local furniture store. And they were even more surprised to learn that when the store’s security guard confronted the couple, she jumped out of her wheelchair and ran away on foot. They were arrested by the cops when they returned to the store to get her wheelchair.

Bozo Criminal for today comes from Portland, Oregon, where an unidentified bozo definitely picked the wrong place to try to rob. He walked up to a car wash, flashed a gun at the employee on duty and told him to empty the cash register. The employee didn’t even blink. He reached down and grabbed the high pressure car wash wand and blasted our bozo in the face with a mixture of hot water and soap, under 2000 pounds of pressure. The blast almost knocked our bozo off his feet but he recovered and was able to get away. Police are looking for a very clean crook.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, where it goes without saying that chewing tobacco is quite popular. And that rather nasty habit ultimately led to our bozo’s arrest. Bozo Randy Smith had pulled off a number of robberies at Oklahoma City businesses and police had no evidence against him until one officer noticed a tobacco stain on some papers at the scene of one of the burglaries. The spit was sent in for DNA testing (and you think you have a bad job). Sure enough the spit matched our bozo, who the police had pegged as a suspect but until then had nothing to link him to the crimes. He’s busted.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Longview, Texas, where bozo Samuel Calder was in dire need of some marijuana, so he sent a text message to his dealer and asked if he could deliver. Only one problem, instead of going to the dealer, the text went to the cell phone of a Longview police officer. Oops. He’s busted.

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from the out of the frying pan, into the fire department. From the Elmwood Correctional Facility in Milpitas, California, comes the story of bozo Arnold Abraham who busted out of the prison under cover of darkness by climbing over the fence surrounding the facility. Perhaps he should have planned his escape a little more thoroughly. When he climbed down from the fence he discovered that he was not on the outside. Instead, he had climbed down into the exercise yard of the neighboring women’s prison. Guards quickly captured him and took him back to his cell.

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Albuquerque, New Mexico, where bozo Raymond Green was charged with breaking and entering even though he didn’t steal anything. It seems our bozo had a friend who wanted to have his head shaved. Now, we don’t know why, but our bozo’s living room just didn’t seem to be the right place to do the job. For reasons known only to the bozo mind it was decided that his friend’s head could be better shaved on the front porch of a nearby house. Only one problem…it was dark. So our bozo simply let himself into the house to turn on the porch light. Unfortunately four our bozo, the residents were home at the time and they called the cops. No word on whether the bozo’s buddy ever got his head shaved.