Bozo criminal for today comes from Wichita, Kansas where bozo Gordon Palmer was a long time meth user. Long enough in fact, that he found himself in debt to his dealer to the tune of $20,000. The dealer had had enough and threatened to shoot him and his family if he didn’t come up with the money quick. And that’s when our bozo came up with this brilliant plan. In Riverside park there was a cannon on display from the civil war. Thinking he could sell the cannon for scrap, he set about to steal it. Enlisting he help of a homeless man who he bribed with drugs and a pipe, they set out to lift the cannon off its pedestal. Fail number one, that thing weighs over 800 pounds. On to the backup plan, wrap a chain around his Chevy Tahoe’s trailer hitch and drag it off. Initially things were working until that chain snapped. Right in the middle of the street. Fail number two. Undeterred, he left the cannon there and borrowed a new, stronger chain from a buddy of his. This chain did the job and the cannon was stashed in his friend’s garage. OK. What to do now? He offered the cannon to his dealer, telling him there was enough scrap copper in the cannon to pay off the debt. Nope, the dealer wanted cash. Fail number three. The next step was to try to sell the cannon to a scrap metal dealer himself. Only one problem. He needed a special license to sell the scrap. Fail number four. By this time the cops were tipped off as to what was going on and our bozo, who was now hiding at his mother’s house, was placed under arrest, charged with theft and damaging public property.