Monthly Archives: October 2025

Bozo criminal for today comes from Woodbury, New Jersey, where bozo Tajia Reynolds responded to a booty text from her “side piece” asking her to come over for sex. She got herself fixed up and arrived at his front door, only to find it locked. When he didn’t respond to her text either, our bozo got mad. Really, really mad. She headed to a nearby Conoco station and purchased some lighter fluid which she used to set a fire outside her man’s residence. He escaped with first and second degree burns but her fate was much worse. She’s been charged with aggravated arson and aggravated assault.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Pullman, Washington, where bozo Elijah Russell was smoking meth and, for reasons known only to the bozo mind, decided to start shooting fireworks into the ceiling of his apartment. Not surprisingly, this let to not only his apartment being destroyed, but eight adjoining apartments also being burned and dozens of residents being evacuated. He fled when police arrived, leading them on a high speed chase and finally ended up being boxed in by police cars. The standoff continued until our bozo offered up his ultimatum. He would surrender in exchange for a cheeseburger and Blizzard from Dairy Queen. The cops complied, delivering the goods via a tactical robot. After giving himself up, he was charged with felony arson and eluding. Further details, such as the flavor of the Blizzard, are unavailable.

Our bozo story for today comes from the International File in Pyongyang, North Korea. And we’ll leave it up to you as to whether we’re looking at boobs or bozos here. It seems Kim Jong Un is upset with “rotten capitalistic acts” that have been committed in the name of “bourgeois customs”. Crack strike teams have been deployed around the country to deal with a two-fold problem that is apparently straining to break free, with orders to deflate the situation as quickly as possible. And the problem? Boob Jobs. It seems the Dear Leader is incensed that droves of North Korean women have been getting breast enhancement surgery using illegal silicone imported from China. So far two patients and one surgeon have been taken into custody. Sources say authorities hope to squeeze down the problem before it grows to enormous proportions.

Our bozo criminal for today from Springfield, Missouri, was foiled by modern technology. It seems college student bozo Ryan Slater went on a rampage, vandalizing 17 cars in a Missouri State parking lot, shattering windows, breaking off mirrors and denting hoods. Mr. College Boy didn’t take a couple of things into account. Number one, there were security cameras in the parking lot. Number two, the conversation he had with ChatGPT where he confessed to the crime and discussed the possibility of getting caught remained on his phone. And number three, yes, the cops are going to look at that ChatGPT transcript after you gave them permission to search your phone. Busted! Charged with vandalism and destruction of property.