Monthly Archives: December 2025

Bozo criminal for today comes from St. Petersburg, Florida, where the local Red Roof Inn had several gifts for children wrapped and placed under a tree at the establishment. While we don’t know for sure how the proprietors of the inn planned to give away the gifts, we’re pretty sure our bozo threw a wrench in those plans. On Christmas morning, bozo Erica Reynolds walked in, began looking at the gifts, selected six of them and proceeded to walk out. The cops were called and after they tracked down our bozo, she said she thought the “gifts were for children.” While that may be true, she couldn’t explain her reason for taking them since she doesn’t have any kids. The total value of the gifts was only $48 and this would have been a simple case of misdemeanor theft except for the fact that she had prior convictions for stealing from Winn-Dixie and a Wawa convenience store. Busted on felony charges! She’ll spend the rest of the holiday locked up, looking at a maximum of five years in prison.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Lake Crystal, Minnesota, where the cops received a rather unusual complaint. Several of our bozo’s neighbors reported that he had been seen stepping out of his shed, “butt-ass naked” and carrying a chain saw. No word on whether he felled any trees while naked as the cops quickly put a stop to such foolishness, charging him with disorderly conduct.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Ormond Beach, Florida, where cops were called to a report of a stolen BMW. Putting things together, it seems the owner left the Beamer unattended while walking his dog. Our bozo spotted it and, finding the keys left behind in a cupholder, absconded with the vehicle. The BMW was too much car for him and after a quick drive at speeds over 100 MPH he crashed the car in a one vehicle accident. Suffering only minor injuries, our bozo was in a chatty mood when the cops arrived. He first thanked the officers and passersby for “saving him from aliens.” He then went on to explain that he hadn’t stolen the car but had instead been teleported into it. While he gets extra points for a creative excuse, he’s still busted! And charged with grand theft auto, a felony, and driving on a license that was suspended in 2019.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Iowa City, Iowa, where bozo Damon Adams parked his 2012 Chevy Impala on the side of the Interstate, walked to the rear of the vehicle, leaned himself up against it and dropped his pants. Not surprisingly, “Little Damon” was soon reported to the cops. The bozo excuse of the week was then offered up by our perpetrator as he told the officers he needed a little “excitement” in his “blah” life. Well, that life just go a lot more exciting, as his lengthy rap sheet, including a probation violation for a previous felony conviction, let to his transfer into the custody of state prison officials.

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Auckland, New Zealand. Our bozo, as yet unidentified, walked into a jewelry store and asked to see the Octopussy egg, a $20,000 Faberge egg featured in the 007 movie of the same title. After examining the bauble, our bozo popped it into his mouth and swallowed it. And rather than fleeing he hung around the store, perhaps looking for something else to eat. The Auckland city beat team arrived within minutes and our bozo was placed under arrest. As of this writing, authorities are still waiting for the egg to make its way out the rear exit. Perhaps in preparation of the passing, the cops report our bozo had also stolen some kitty litter and a tray a few days before. He’s been charged with theft.