Monthly Archives: February 2026

Our bozo criminals for today come from Jasper County, Texas, where deputies were called to a report of break-in at a residence. The homeowner told the cops that she had been in an argument with two women earlier in the evening and they had broken into her home and assaulted her. “Yes, ma’am. Would these two women be the same women whose vehicle is stuck in the mud in your driveway?” Busted! Charged with second degree burglary of a habitation.

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Derbyshire, England, where the cops were chasing a thief but lost him when he leapt over a fence and onto a farmer’s property. This turned out to be a really bad idea. This farmer has eight llamas who are very possessive about their territory. The animals, which can reach a height of 6 feet and have an nasty habit of spitting, quickly surrounded our bozo, making a terrible racket. He was held in check by the llamas until the cops arrived. After his release from llama custody, he was arrested and charged with theft.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Ken Landers for sending in today’s report from the International File in Flin Flon, Manitoba, Canada. Residents of Flin Flon were understandably excited about the creation of the Snow Lodge, built almost entirely of ice and snow, and designed for hosting dinners, concerts and other events. One of the only parts of the structure not made of snow or ice was the front door, a piece of plywood painted white. Now, if you were a bozo living in Flin Flon and looking for something to steal, what would you grab? That plywood front door, of course. Witnesses reported someone driving a Ford Bronco removed said door and made off with it. Fortunately, the RCMP, acting on tips from the public, sprang into action and recovered the door, and a second unrelated door, from a nearby residence. In the interim, a temporary door had been installed but city officials say they will save the door and plan to use it on an even bigger and better Snow Palace next year. At last report, the RCMP was still searching for our bozo door thief, who was not at home when the stolen door was recovered.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Kissimmee, Florida where cops were called to the Windsor Hills Resort on a report of a disturbance. When they arrived, there was no longer a disturbance going on but residents showed the officers cell phone videos that were certainly disturbing. According to the police report the video showed our bozo engaged in “intimate contact with a vacuum cleaner.” Yep, a vacuum cleaner. Further investigation revealed the identity of “Mr. Hoover” and it seems he has been accused of several other acts of public lewdness in the past. Busted! Charged with indecent exposure. Lawyers are now lining up to represent the vacuum cleaner.