Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Barbara Goldstein for sending in today’s report. From Hilton Head Island, South Carolina comes the story of an unidentified bozo who was trying to do the right thing, just on the wrong "person." He called the cops and told the officer on duty that he had just tried to perform CPR on a woman that was apparently dead. Officers rushed to the scene but didn’t see a body. When they asked our bozo where the dead woman was, he pointed to a large bale of pine straw. Yep, he had confused a straw bale with a woman. Deputies believe the man had been drinking.