Monthly Archives: August 2025

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Don Reese for bringing us today’s report which features another bozo foiled by modern technology. It seems our homeowner in the Florida city of Lutz was sleeping peacefully the other night when he was awakened by a clatter in his backyard. Going out to investigate, he discovered a drone had crashed near his pack porch. He picked up the unmanned aircraft and took it inside whereupon he discovered a brown bag attached to the thing. Inside the bag were what appeared to be drugs, which prompted a quick call to the cops. While waiting for the cops to arrive, the homeowner’s security cam captured a man with a flashlight knocking on the front door. Yep, this is our bozo. He was still in the front yard when the cops pulled up and he tried to play it cool. He told the police he was “out flying his drone” and he thought it had crashed in the backyard of the residence. Bad idea, pal. You just claimed ownership of a drone that was delivering what turned out to be baggies of methamphetamine and fentanyl. Busted! Charged with possession of a controlled substance with intent to sell or deliver, driving with license cancelled or revoked, operating unregistered vehicle, and out of county warrant, failure to appear. He’s being held in jail without bond.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Livingston, Louisiana, where bozo Lisa Caldwell was released from lockup and found herself in the jail parking lot with no means of transportation. So, she did what any bozo would do, she attempted to steal an unmarked patrol car. Failing at this attempt, but undeterred, she then climbed into a public works truck and drove off. After a while, she ditched the truck and hitched a ride with someone along State Highway 63. Clean getaway, right? Wrong. She left her discharge papers inside the stolen truck. Oops. Cops caught up with her a short time later after responding to a suspicious person call outside a grocery store. Busted! Charged with theft of a vehicle and attempted theft of a vehicle.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Bristol, Connecticut, where police received a strange call concerning a disturbance at Rockwell Park. It seems the doors to the restrooms in the park’s pavilion automatically lock at 10pm, which usually doesn’t cause any problem since the doors can be opened from the inside should someone get locked in. However, the someone who got locked in this time was a park visitor’s dog. We’re not sure what he was doing in the restroom but we do know his owner was very upset. Upset enough that the climbed up on the roof and tried to slither down the chimney to rescue him. You probably know where this is going…He didn’t make it very far before he found himself stuck. Stuck tight enough that the fire department rescue team had to dismantle parts of the chimney and building to get him out. Our bozo dog rescuer, who was not injured, was arrested and charged with burglary, trespassing and criminal mischief. One bright spot. The dog is fine.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Don Reese for sending in today’s report from Tallahassee, Florida. Police were working a case of credit card theft where the victim said fraudulent charges started showing up on her card after a trip to Chuck E. Cheese in June. Using video evidence, cops were able to identify the potential thief and headed to the restaurant to confront him. And that’s when things got really interesting. The officer asked someone working the front door at Chuck’s if they could point our bozo out to him. “Right over there,” she said, pointing at Chuck E. Cheese himself. Yep, that was our bozo, wearing the mouse outfit. He was placed under arrest, handcuffed and marched to the patrol car while still wearing his full costume. He’s being served cheese and crackers in jail.