Monthly Archives: November 2025

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Anthony Lucero for sending in today’s report from St. Charles County, Missouri. Cops were called to a report of a 2:30 am break-in at the local Circle-K. Upon arrival, the cops found a shattered glass door and, inside, our bozo, enjoying a sweet tea and a beef stick. When asked why he committed the break-in, he offered up the Bozo Excuse of the Week, saying, “I know you are going to think I am crazy, but there is an Al intelligence speaker in my neck.” Well, OK then. Maybe Mr. AI can also serve as your lawyer. Busted! Charged with a “felony amount” of damage to the Circle-K and a “misdemeanor amount” of stolen beef sticks.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Anthony Lucero for sending in today’s report from Las Cruces, New Mexico. It seems bozo Kechelle Brown used a credit card to jimmy a lock and gain entrance to a home. When the homeowner returned, she found our bozo fast asleep on the couch. However, before she went beddy-bye she took a shower, cleaned the bathroom, and helped herself to some potato chips. Nothing else in the home was disturbed. It’s believed drugs may have been involved. She’s charged with breaking and entering.

It was just a regular Sunday evening in North Charleston, South Carolina when a report of a bozo came in. The cops responded to a report of someone driving recklessly in a church parking lot. They found evidence of skid marks on the pavement and a number of beer cans scattered around. And behind the wheel, our bozo, wearing a tank top and no pants. Yep we said no pants. In a church parking lot. Busted! Charged with possession of cocaine, pointing and presenting a firearm and malicious injury to real property. No explanation as to what happened to his pants.

Our bozo criminal for today comes from the Halloween File. It seems a Target in Tampa Bay, Florida suffered an incident of vandalism last week in which about 80 pumpkins on display outside the store were destroyed. And the store’s video surveillance system caught our bozo in action as he picked out pumpkins one by one and smashed them to the ground. That would probably have been the end of the story if, for reasons known only to the bozo mind, our bozo decided to return to this very Target to do some shopping. Brought to the loss prevention office and asked if he could identify the person in the footage, he replied, “That’s me.” And in way of explanation, he offered up the Bozo Excuse of the Week. He said he destroyed the gourds because someone on facebook was “messing” with him and made him mad. Well, OK then. Police have charged him with felony criminal mischief and he’s cooling his heels in jail on $5000 bond. His rap sheet includes convictions for burglary, battery, trespass, criminal mischief, and reckless driving. And one other strange note, his arrest sheet lists his profession as “violinist.”