Monthly Archives: May 2025

Bozo criminal for today violated seldom used Bozo Rule Number 909092: Stay away from those flaming hot chips if you’re on probation. It seems Bozo Darren Dotson, whose probation forbade consumption of alcohol, decided to enter the “Hot Chip Challenge” a contest where you see just how incendiary a chip you can consume. Apparently this challenge, which took place in a bar, was videoed and our bozo was seen taking a swig from a Corona after a particularly hot chip. Sorry, pal, you should have stuck with water. His probation officer was reviewing social media and spotted our bozo drinking the beer, which, along with being in a bar, was prohibited under the rules of his probation. Busted! Our bozo, who has previous convictions for dealing in stolen property; cocaine sales; grand theft; credit card fraud; heroin possession; cocaine possession; theft; burglary; and violating a domestic violence protection order is headed back to jail.

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Pococi, Costa Rica where guards spotted something suspicious just outside the walls of the Pococi Penitentiary. Further investigation determined that it was a would-be drug smuggler, wearing a make-shift backpack, attempting to scale the barbed wire fence surrounding the facility. Quick action by the guards resulted in the smuggler being captured and 236 grams of marijuana and 68 grams of heroin confiscated. The suspect offered up little resistance and was taken to a veterinarian for further examination. Whaaaa? Yep, our bozo drug mule was a cat with the contraband strapped to his back. Authorities say it seems the inmates were trying to lure the smuggler into the facility with food.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Wichita, Kansas where bozo Gordon Palmer was a long time meth user. Long enough in fact, that he found himself in debt to his dealer to the tune of $20,000. The dealer had had enough and threatened to shoot him and his family if he didn’t come up with the money quick. And that’s when our bozo came up with this brilliant plan. In Riverside park there was a cannon on display from the civil war. Thinking he could sell the cannon for scrap, he set about to steal it. Enlisting he help of a homeless man who he bribed with drugs and a pipe, they set out to lift the cannon off its pedestal. Fail number one, that thing weighs over 800 pounds. On to the backup plan, wrap a chain around his Chevy Tahoe’s trailer hitch and drag it off. Initially things were working until that chain snapped. Right in the middle of the street. Fail number two. Undeterred, he left the cannon there and borrowed a new, stronger chain from a buddy of his. This chain did the job and the cannon was stashed in his friend’s garage. OK. What to do now? He offered the cannon to his dealer, telling him there was enough scrap copper in the cannon to pay off the debt. Nope, the dealer wanted cash. Fail number three. The next step was to try to sell the cannon to a scrap metal dealer himself. Only one problem. He needed a special license to sell the scrap. Fail number four. By this time the cops were tipped off as to what was going on and our bozo, who was now hiding at his mother’s house, was placed under arrest, charged with theft and damaging public property.

Bozo criminal for today was spotted walking around a Florida parking lot wearing a t-shirt with no pants, private parts dangling freely in the tropical breeze. And carrying two wine bottles and a can of beer. What’s that? Typical behavior in Florida, you say? Probably correct but our bozo ensured his place in the Bozo Hall of Shame by identifying himself to the local cops as “Charles Dickens.” After determining his real name, our well-read bozo was placed under arrest, charged with providing a false name to law enforcement, open container violations and indecent exposure.

Our bozo for today comes from the Internet Division. You may be familiar with the Only Fans site where many varieties of fantasies come true. Unfortunately for our bozo for today, trying to fulfill some of those fantasies caused her to fall into the long arms of the law. It seems our bozo, who goes by the name of “Kinki Kelli” on the site specializes in pee. Yep. And specifically peeing in public places. Her latest pee spree found her at the Marriott hotel in Keene, New Hampshire, where she sprayed the hotel’s room air conditioner unit, a comforter blanket, curtains and, gasp!, a bible. And since she posted her pee pix on her Only Fans site it wasn’t too difficult for the cops to track her down. She’s apparently a veteran at the art of peeing, too, as other pictures showed her doing the deed in a grocery store and a department store. Busted! On felony and misdemeanor charges.