Monthly Archives: July 2025

Bozo criminal for today comes from the Internal Affairs division and we’ll leave it up to you to decide who the ultimate Bozo is in this case. It seems our bozo was arrested in New York after stripping off all his clothes and allegedly stealing a boat, which he then took for a joyride down the Hudson River. He was quickly apprehended by the cops and was taken to New York Presbyterian Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. Here’s where it gets interesting. He somehow slipped out of his handcuffs and slipped into a doctor’s coat and pants. He then walked barefoot past the sleeping guard at his door and out the front door of the hospital. Sleeping beauty has been suspended and the search is on for our suspect.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Richmond Heights, Ohio. It seems two women, for reasons known only to the bozo mind, decided it would be fun to climb aboard an unoccupied police car and do a little twerking. Harmless fun, right? And no one’s around, so who’s going to know? Well the answer is no to the first question and everyone to the second. What our bozos forgot is that most police cars come equipped with dashboard cameras that record motion around the car. The cops were able to send to very clear facial shots from the video to a place that utilizes a facial recognition software called Clearview AI. The software accesses social media accounts and other databases to confirm identities. Busted! Arrest warrants issued for damaging police property.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Don Reese for sending in today’s report from Palm Coast, Florida where our bozo devised a not so well thought out plan for robbing the local Lowes home improvement center. He made his way through the store, collecting about $1500 worth of merchandise which he hoped to get away with without paying. Lowe’s employees noticed him acting strangely and called the cops. This led to our bozo heading out the front door and ditching the items. To his waiting getaway car, right? Wrong. He had no getaway car. So, what to do? Well, there was a UPS truck pulling out of the parking lot. Our bozo hopped on board and proceeded to sit down for the ride on the back bumper of the truck. It goes without saying that a guy reclining on the back bumper of a UPS truck is going to attract some attention. Another motorist notified the driver who ordered our bozo off the bumper. The cops were called and confirmed that our wayward passenger was indeed our shoplifter. Busted! Charged with a shoplifting-grand theft charge.