Monthly Archives: August 2026

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Dalton, New Hampshire. Firefighters were called to a report of a fire at a residence and when they arrived they found the home fully engulfed in flames. While they were working to get the blaze under control, the homeowner, for reasons known only to the bozo mind, decided to take one of the fire department vehicles for a little joy ride. While driving, he struck another fire engine that was engaged in firefighting operations, ran over multiple water supply lines and narrowly avoided running down three firefighters. But he wasn’t done. A homeowner nearby reported that he had crashed onto their property and was actively trying to steal items off the front porch. Troopers arrived and caught him trying to break into the rear of the residence. Hope you had fun as you’re busted! And charged with three counts of reckless conduct with a deadly weapon, obstructing government administration, felony theft by unauthorized taking, four counts of conduct after an accident, burglary and resisting arrest and detention.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin. Our tale of misadventure begins just before 1 am when security cameras at Pleasant Prairie Fire Station No. 3 caught someone driving away in a fire department pickup truck. Perhaps our bozo was colorblind or maybe she just didn’t care that the truck she had just stolen was bright red and emblazoned with a number of symbols indicating was an official fire department vehicle, making it really easy to spot. It wasn’t long after she grabbed the truck that she decided to try to get something to eat by using the two way radio inside. Dispatchers reported her exact words were, “I’m hungry, you got food in there?” When the cops pulled her over, the officer noticed she was naked and her dress was in the bed of the truck. Her response to why was “I’m supposed to be meeting someone.” Right now the only person she’s meeting will be the judge and we hope she remembers her dress. She’s charged with operating a motor vehicle without the owner’s consent.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Ken Landers for sending in today’s report from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. The cops were called to a report of a missing pussycat. What made the case interesting was that the cat’s owner had received a ransom note from the bozo thief, demanding cash for the safe return of the puss. Didn’t take much investigating to turn up the ransomer, as the woman told the cops her neighbor had delivered the letter demanding money in exchange for the kitty’s return. Busted! And Sylvester is home safe and sound.

Over lo these many years of doing the Bozo Report, a great deal of time and money has been spent trying to determine the exact connection between (1) being a bozo and (2) being naked. At this point a direct link has yet to be found. With that being said, once again we present our naked bozo story of the day, this one from Ellisville, Mississippi. At 9:40 PM Sunday evening, the cops pulled over bozo Karen Martin for driving erratically. As the officers approached the vehicle, a strong smell of marijuana smoke wafted out of the window. Inside, they discovered our bozo, totally unencumbered by any clothing, surrounded by any number of weapons. Included in the cache was a Glock handgun at her feet, another Glock wedged in between the seat and console, and a third Glock and two AR-15 rifles in the trunk. Busted! While she claimed the weapons were for self defense, she had no explanation for why she was buck naked.

Bozo criminal for today comes from New York City, where the cops will tell you they’ve seen everything. We’re betting they haven’t seen this one. Our bozo, Galymzhan Abaildayev, scaled the North tower of the famous Brooklyn Bridge. He then took some flags out of his backpack and proceeded to strip off all his clothes before doing a swan dive into the river below. Unbelievably, he survived the jump from the 270 foot tall tower with only minor injuries. He’ll now have to explain his motives to the judge while facing charges of reckless endangerment, graffiti, public lewdness, criminal trespass, and disorderly conduct.