Monthly Archives: September 2026

Bozo criminal for today comes from Rosenberg, Texas, where our unidentified bozo was struck with an urgent call of nature around 4:30 a.m. Sunday. Now, there are not a lot of options in Rosenberg at that hour, and when he spotted a large Kroger store, he thought surely they would be open and have an available restroom. Sadly, he found the doors locked tight. But, undeterred, he did what any bozo in distress would do. Use brute force. He crashed his car through the store’s pharmacy entrance. Bad idea. While he did find an available restroom, he also found the police waiting for him when he had done his business. Busted!

Bozo criminal for today comes from Largo, Florida, where the cops were called to a report of a domestic disturbance. The victim reported that she was fed up with her boyfriend “farting in bed” and asked him to cease and desist. He didn’t take well to her request and attempted to place a choke hold on her but she fought him off, biting his finger in the process. Order was restored and our serial farter was charged with domestic battery by strangulation.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Mankato, Minnesota, where bozo Andrew Setzer had a thriving drug business going, selling magic mushrooms, THC concentrate and other goodies to customers on and around the campus of Minnesota State University. Being an entrepreneurial type, he developed a rather unique approach to growing his business. He printed up “loyalty cards” which he gave to his customers, offering them a discount on their next purchase. Maybe he did a little too good a job of promoting himself as he attracted the attention of undercover cops who made a deal to purchase two pounds of mushrooms and a pound of marijuana from him. Busted! Charged with seven felony drug counts, two of which carry maximum sentences of 40 years in prison (and mandatory minimums of 86 months in custody). Among the items seized by the cops was a large stack of “Flowerdady Loyalty Cards.”

Bozo criminal for today comes from St. Petersburg, Florida, where the cops were called to a report of a disturbance at a construction site. Upon arrival, officers found our bozo, completely naked and lying atop a wooded pallet in full view of a group of construction workers. And she wasn’t just lying there. Eyewitnesses reported she was pleasuring herself. And that would explain her Bozo Excuse of the Week. She told the cops she “Just wanted to feel good.” Hope she enjoyed herself. She’s busted! Charged with indecent exposure.