Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Fred McKinney for sending in today’s report from Memphis, Tennessee, where bozo Darnell “Lil Peanut” Parker walked into the local Dollar General Store with the intent of robbing the place. However, things did not go exactly as planned. That black ski mask he was wearing? He had purchased it from the same Dollar General earlier in the day using his rewards card. Strike one. His weapon which he held under his hoodie turned out to be his finger. Strike two. And the woman behind the register? She’d known him since he was eight years old and wasn’t having any of his bull. She climbed over the register and threw him to the ground. Strike three. A couple of other DG employees then joined in and our bozo was held captive in the laundry detergent aisle until the cops arrived.