Next Time Hire a Teenager for a Buck an Hour

As this long, cold winter finally comes to an end, we thought we would treat you to one final wintry story, courtesy of Bozo News Hawk Fred McKinney. From Fargo, North Dakota, comes the story of bozo Todd Raines who was fed up with clearing snow out of his front yard. It was his alternative method of snow blowing that got him in trouble. He obtained a flamethrower, referred to by the cops as a “high-powered fire-breathing weapon”, and went to work on the snow. Neighbors noticed a bright orange cloud and could hear what they termed “puff the magic dragon spewing mayhem all over hell” and called the cops. While the cops could understand our bozo’s frustration, his methods were illegal. He was arrested and charged with reckless endangerment.