Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Bangor, Maine. According to police, our bozo stole a flatbed truck from American Concrete Industries in Veazie and headed north. Cops tracked the truck down, finding it at our bozo’s residence in Hershey Township, about 45 miles from the Canadian border. What makes this story worthy of mention is our bozo’s Excuse of the Week. He told the cops he stole the truck to “haul missiles up to Canada.” No word on where he was getting the missiles or why Canada needs them. He’s under arrest.